"But Hannah went not up..."
It was a typical groggy morning when I was having my morning prayer time with God that he told me to read about Hannah for the millionth time. I'm reading and reliving my normal disdain for Penninah and wanting to simply cry for Hannah. Being jeered at year after year by the person who has the very thing you desire most; well some won't admit it, but it's a suffocating feeling. It is a very repulsive mixture of heartbreak, anxiety, shame, envy, jealousy, and anger that is impossible to digest.
You can lose yourself in this kind of torture.
The relationship that once meant the world to you means nothing as long as there is someone who has the upper hand over you. Perhaps having the proper perspective would help the matter, but sometimes logic is just hard to find. So here you are in a losing battle because you have engaged in war with mere flesh and blood when that's not where the real fight is; bringing you loss after loss. They know it, and you know it.
It's easy to say it's not that serious when you have never experienced the kind of deficit that screams the secret of your feminine incapabilities. How do you not feel flawed? How do you not feel inadequate? How do you explain that being loved isn't enough?
This is what Hannah was dealing with. It had caused her great depression. It had caused great misunderstanding with the man who loved her. Eventually, it caused her to pray a great prayer that led to the birth of her son; a blessing that would silence her rival. Yet when it was time to go to the annual sacrifice where she could rise from the ashes of defeat, it says.
"But Hannah went not up..." 1 Samuel 1:22 KJV
Rather than return to the place of her continued mocking, she chose to focus on her child and prepare him for the temple where he would remain. And that got me to thinking.
Perhaps after gaining the victory, it takes as much confidence not to show up and get our lick back as it takes to keep showing up when your victory has not manifested in the earth.
Hannah's story teaches us that true freedom and confidence come not from proving a point to others, but from knowing our worth and purpose in God's eyes. After years of heartache, she found joy not in publicly besting her rival, but in pouring her life into her son and dedicating him to the Lord's service.
Whether we're facing rivalries, feeling inadequate, or simply longing for vindication, Hannah's example calls us to re-examine where we're seeking validation. Are we trying to prove ourselves to others, or are we secure in our identity as daughters of God? In our own struggles, may we have the wisdom to recognize when God is calling us to shift our focus. Instead of seeking earthly triumphs, may we pour our energy into the purposes and people He has entrusted to our care, trusting that in this we will find true victory and peace.
Romans 8:18 says, 'For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.'
I have a feeling that glory is closer than we ever thought it could ever get to us, and all I want to say #inthemeantime is: DON'T GLOAT IN THE GLORY!
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