In 2008, the guy I believed I was dating got engaged, and not to me. It was to the girl he had told me a million times was just crazy and wouldn't stop calling him.
In 2012, the guy I believed I was dating got engaged, and not to me. It was to the girl he had told me a million times was just somebody hanging around.
In 2013, the guy I had just finished dating got engaged to the girl he was dating while dating me.
In 2017, the guy I believed I was dating got engaged, and not to me. It was to the girl who...well...I still don't know where she came from.
What a pattern! Naturally, I believed that something was wrong with me because nobody would choose me. I was always the one BEFORE the one. I felt like a training course. And while everyone was using relationships with me as preparation for their good thing, I was left wondering if I was anyone's good thing.
It was when I went to God about this trend. I wanted his sympathy. I wanted space to be a brat, and I was met with truth. "Britt, I have already chosen you." I was and still am so embarrassed to admit that at the time, God choosing me didn't seem like enough. How would I ever look the women that these men chose over me in the face and be okay with the fact that God was the only man who would choose me. And before you judge, I'm just being honest. Yes, he's God, but his invisibility made me uncertain of the impact of his choice for me.
And I can't even tell you when it clicked for me. All I remember is recognizing the fact that although I couldn't see God, he chose me daily. I couldn't hold his hand and go to the movies, but I started feeling his presence more and more, literally within the pulse in my wrist and the beat of my heart. I mean, really. Jesus was in a super vulnerable place right before making the most selfless choice. He asked God, "If you are willing, remove this cup from me!" -Luke 22:43 *paraphrased* And in the very next breath he says NEVERTHELESS, not my will but yours, be done.
NEVERTHELESS was a choice. This was the moment he CHOSE the cross; ultimately the moment he chose me and simultaneously the moment that he chose you.
So let's #reelitin...
If we are never chosen by the man, by the job, by the group of friends--we have already been chosen! And that fact is enough to be okay with the fact that sometimes we're passed up by humans. We are chosen only by the BEST because God sees the best within us. One day, and I dare say soon, we will relish in God's choice OF us and then we will stand hand in hand with God's choice FOR us.
-B.Reel
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