A Thirteen Year Old Promise

I rushed over to his apartment as soon as he called. It was only about five minutes from where I lived, but I couldn’t get there fast enough. I was eager to see what would happen next in this budding love story of mine. He had pursued me with a persistence no one had ever shown before, and I was certain that my moment was close—the moment.

Sure, things were a bit messy, but once I got the commitment, everything would fall into place.

That night, we stood outside his apartment, the cool air brushing against us as we laughed. Oh, how we laughed. Honestly, looking back on it now, that’s all we did. We laughed. There wasn’t much else beyond that—just laughter.

But then, he became quiet. When I asked what was wrong, he opened up about his doubts—his unhappiness with his girlfriend. It felt like pillow talk without the pillow, and while I was supportive of him, a part of me couldn’t help but feel a little too pleased. He was telling me how unhappy he was with her, the same woman who had just demanded my respect as his girlfriend. I couldn’t help but find it amusing, knowing that she didn’t realize she wasn’t the woman in his life. I was.

After hours of talking, I made my way home, but something strange began to happen. As I walked, I started hearing random descriptions—words and phrases that didn’t quite make sense to me.

Humble. Kind. Too trusting of people.

You must discern. You must be confident.

I had no idea what it meant, but the more I walked, the more detailed and vivid these descriptions became. It was so surreal that I ran inside, grabbed my notebook, and started writing everything down. By the time the voice stopped, I had filled nearly four pages with information about a person I couldn’t yet see, but felt drawn to.

Then, the voice spoke again.

“This is your husband. You will have a great story with this man, one that will inspire many people to believe that love is real. I am God. God is love. I am real, and so is love.”

The person I had just spent time with didn’t resemble any of those traits. Still, I was convinced that it was my job to fight for him, to somehow help him become what I couldn’t see and would likely never see. It was God’s mercy that helped me to lose that fight. Two years and a soon to be ex-boyfriend later, I found myself on the phone with someone who, without question, embodied every word that God had spoken to me that night.

It was calm and easy. No game or pick up lines. No hey beautiful messages. Just a person who understood me without explanation. The more we talked, the more I had to go back and think about THAT night.

That night, on May 1, 2011 God told me something I’ll never forget: You will be married.

All these years later, and I’m still not married. But I often wonder why it was so important for God to tell me, from the very beginning of what has become a journey of beautiful exchanges between us, that I was meant to be a wife—and to a man who would fit that vivid description. He could’ve told me anything. So many things.

All I know, however, is that God’s word doesn’t return void, and I trust that the full manifestation of my promise is sure to come.

#inthemeantime If I were you I’d keep my B.Reel notifications on. I can see it now: a new blog post that is entitled, “And it came to pass…”

#np Matrimony x Wale ft. Usher